Richard Benjamin Tilkin

March 17, 1939 – Feb. 14, 2006

Known by many as “Papa Rich,” Richard Tilkin passed away unexpectedly on Valentine’s Day. His death came 53 years to the day since he began dating his wife Cynthia at a Sweethearts dance at West Orange Junior High School in New Jersey. Over those five following decades their love affair would be admired by many.

Papa Rich lived for all things good and honorable, or that made his grandchildren giggle. His favorite magic trick was to coax them close to guess the mystery item he held in his hand, only to surprise them with a loving hug instead.

The Tilkins came from the East Coast to Whidbey Island in 1974, pursuing a notion Richard had held of the ideal career and life. Some years earlier he had read a book about a social worker who took ferryboats to distant islands off the coast of British Columbia to help needy people. In Puget Sound he found what he was looking for, and better.

With his master’s degree in social work from the University of Michigan, Richard spent his professional life helping wayward kids in Snohomish County as a parole officer with Juvenile Rehabilitation Services.

He was often assigned the most difficult cases, but didn’t always use his assigned county car just for official county business. As a creative person he was often inspired while on the road; Richard was known (not by the supervisors) to throw a large roadside rock or two in the trunk for later transport home.

He and his wife spent years using the rocks to build a massive fireplace and garage at their Langley home. Together they created a picturesque setting reminiscent of historic New England where they had spent childhood summers.

Richard co-founded the Generation Gap Big Band in 1976. As a drummer he passed on his love of jazz to countless young musicians, and kept the band performing charity concerts for schools across the area for 25 years.

In 1961 Richard toured the Soviet Union during the Bay of Pigs crisis, as a member of the University of Michigan Orchestra Band. They were the first amateur performers to be invited behind the Iron Curtain. As noted in the Warren Commission report, Richard was among the musicians who unexpectedly met another American back stage in Minsk – an American the world would come to know later as Lee Harvey Oswald. It was just one of his experiences in a life that seemed to intersect with critical people in history; that also included Muhammed Ali, Joseph Lieberman, jazz pianist Bob James, and his own niece, actress Bebe Neuwirth.

He also had encounters with plenty of “wise guys” and saw the ways of the Mafia in his days as a jazz drummer and bandleader on the East Coast and in the Catskills. Friends and family were lucky to get to know these stories through Richard’s masterful storytelling – never was there a better man at holding an audience.

Papa Rich’s favorite crowd was his children, then later his grandchildren. He enthralled them with Richie and Robbie stories – tales of his cousin and him growing up on the streets of Belleville, New Jersey. When he ran out of stories he made up new adventures and his young listeners never knew the difference.

On south Whidbey Island Richard was a tireless volunteer for Hearts and Hammers, helping people in need with home improvement projects.

He also worked at his own wacky art creations, with parts culled from one of his favorite places on earth, Island Recycling. Among many other things, he built ballruns, soup box derby cars, and a giant hookah pipe for the Harvest Moon Ball. Richard also led kids at South Whidbey High School in the construction of elaborate homecoming floats.

He was an umpire for SWAA little league baseball. Though he admitted missing a lot of calls, no one seemed to care that much – he was that kind of guy.

Richard adored his job in semi-retirement as the self-proclaimed “barn-geezer” at Bayview Farm and Garden, where the owners overlooked his unique ability to ruin merchandise from behind the wheel of a forklift because they found greater value in his character.

The tales of Papa Rich could go on and on, because his spirit went on and on. What is only left to say are the names of the people who will miss him most: his wife of nearly 45 years, Cynthia; their daughter and son-in-law Robin and Kyle Crowder, their boys, Cooper and Finn; their son and daughter-in-law Dan and Kathy Tilkin, their children Elle and Ben.

Please make remembrances to Hearts & Hammers, PO Box 694, Langley, WA 98260-0694.