Editor,

I enjoyed Bill Merrill’s July 8 letter, “Liberals are the most prejudiced.” Like many of us here in America, I’m always thrilled to hear someone tell us what all of “us” liberals think and do.

Mr. Bill’s letter has it all: brainwashing, racial bias, uninformed minorities, Trump’s COVID jabs, old goats at each other’s throats – a veritable Zombie Apocalypse, right here on Whidbey Island.

His fantasy letter inspired me to write a one-act play: in it, Bill and I both grow up in America, we both go to “government” (public) schools, and – assuming we’re about the same age – we’re both forced to get the Kennedy polio vaccine jabs and swallow the LBJ sugar cubes.

But then, our paths diverged:

While I was forced to read “Huckleberry Finn” and MAD Magazine, and I was trying to not catch cooties from girls; Mr. Bill was kidnapped by the Cabal, and then the “pre-weaponized” CIA forced him to drink orange Kool-Aid laced with mind-altering drugs. These made him delusional, they made him color-blind, (one pill made him smaller) … and they altered his DNA, big time.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?), Mr. Bill Merrill has no memory of any of this; after all, that’s how conspiracies work.

So, if any of you happen to see Mr. Bill, please tell him he’s in my liberal thoughts and prayers, because a deranged mind on drugs is a terrible thing to waste.

David Freed

Clinton