To the editor:
You’re proud to be a farmer? Well of course you are, there was never any doubt. No need to make a bumper sticker about it. You won’t see Derek Jeter with a bumper sticker saying, “I’m proud to be wearing five World Series rings.” You won’t see any bumper stickers that read, “I’m proud to have worked in Haiti after the earthquake,” or “I’m proud to have lead a non-violent revolution in South Africa.” These people understand that they need not state the obvious.
Maybe you will see one that reads, “I’m proud to be a petty street thug,” or “I’m proud to have been involved with Congress before sending pictures of myself in my underwear.” A bumper sticker like this would serve a useful purpose. There might have been some doubt in the reader’s mind as to whether the driver feels good about their chosen profession — this clears it up.
My bumper sticker reads: “I’m proud to live in a country where my son can buy deodorant that contains odor fighting atomic robots that shoot lasers at stench monsters and replaces them with fresh, clean, masculine scent elves.”
In case there was any question.
DAN VORHIS
Freeland