Here we are, four days into March, and we’ve already missed National Pig Day, Peanut Butter Lovers Day, Dr. Seuss’s birthday and Share a Smile Day.

And I’ll bet you forgot to celebrate National Anthem Day yesterday, didn’t you? In 1931, on March 3, Congress adopted a resolution making “The Star-Spangled Banner” our official anthem. They apparently chose to ignore the fact that it’s virtually unsingable by the average citizen.

But, even if you missed those special March events, there are plenty of others coming up. March is American Red Cross month, Irish American Heritage Month, National Frozen Food Month, National Noodle Month and National Nutrition Month.

March is, in fact, packed with special days, some official, others seemingly off-the-wall excuses for celebrating something, anything, during this long, dull month of waiting for spring to arrive.

Tomorrow, for example, is Multiple Personalities Day, so you and your other selves could all converge and party, that is if you can stand each other.

If that’s not going to work, then just pop a bottle of bubbly and toast Leonardo DaVinci (no, not DiCaprio) for inventing the parachute. I’m curious, though; why did he invent the parachute when flying had not yet occurred? Yes, I know he had drawings for a “wing” and even a man strapped to a flying device, but no one had yet done it. So, Leo, how cometh you to think of needing a parachute?

Be sure you have a goodly supply of Oreos on hand so you can be prepared for Friday’s celebration of the day Oreo cookies first went on sale, March 6, 1912. Friday is also, however, National Dentist’s Day, and munching a pile of Oreos isn’t exactly what your local dentist would be recommending. The least you can do is enjoy your Oreos, then brush your teeth really, really well, while intoning your dentist’s name as you brush.

On March 7, 1876, a patent for his amazing telephone invention was granted to Alexander Graham Bell. Having just spent a few days in the company of two teen-age granddaughters who never stopped texting on their telephones the entire time, I’m not sure how I feel about celebrating the birth of the telephone. However, if you need a reason to party, I suppose the ever-present telephone, cell or otherwise, is as good a reason as any.

On March 8, of course, we spring forward and Daylight Savings begins. I won’t be celebrating, as I think the twice-a-year time change is a pain in the neck and should be abolished. But it is also Working Women’s Day and to all women who work (are there any who don’t, one way or another?), I will gladly raise a glass in tribute.

Speaking of working women, our dear friend Barbie will be celebrating her 50th birthday on

March 9.

Barbie, 50 years old? I’ve yet to see a wrinkled, saggy Barbie doll, but if I could find one, I’d throw her a birthday party. Forget that other ageless hussy that still hangs out at Toys R Us.

And finally, let us not fail to note that on March 10, 1862, the very first paper money was issued in the United States. Hooray; cause for celebration?

Well, they’re certainly partying in Washington, D.C., throwing paper money around like there’s an endless supply. Do you know how many zeroes it takes to make a trillion?

RECIPES

As noted above, it’s Irish American Heritage Month, so let’s talk about making some scones. Of course, there’s an ongoing argument about whether it was the Scots, Irish or Brits who actually invented scones, but we’ll consider them Irish for this month.

You could serve these for breakfast on that other famous March day,

St. Patrick’s Day. Personally, I love scones any day of any month.

Too often, scones turn out dry and/or tough; there are a couple of tricks to remember for light, tender scones. Be sure your butter is cold, work the dough as little as necessary to avoid forming gluten, which will make them tough, and unless you have very cold hands, use a fork to work the dough together. Warm hands melt the butter and you don’t want that to happen until they’re in the oven.

LEMON CREAM SCONES

2 ¼ cups flour

1/3 cup plus 2 t. sugar, divided

1 T. baking powder

¼ t. salt

½ cup unsalted butter, chilled, cut into small pieces

¾ cup plus 1 T. whipping cream, divided

2 egg yolks

1 T. grated lemon peel

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and heat the oven to 400 degrees.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, 1/3 cup of sugar, baking powder and salt. With a pastry blender or 2 knives, quickly cut in butter until the butter is the size of blueberries.

In a small bowl, whisk together ¾ cup of cream, egg yolks and lemon peel. Pour this into the flour mixture and stir with a fork until evenly moistened. Try not to work the dough too much; just enough to mix and moisten. Use your hand to then quickly and gently press the dough together. On a lightly floured surface, pat the dough into a 7-inch round about 1-inch thick. At this point, you can cut the dough into 8 wedges (traditional shape) or use a

2½ -inch round cutter to make 8 rounds, pressing dough scraps together as you cut. Place wedges or rounds on the prepared baking sheet.

Lightly brush the top of the scones with the remaining 1 T. of cream; sprinkle with remaining 2 t. sugar. Bake 15 to 18 min. or until a toothpick inserted in center of a scone comes out clean. Cool on a rack for 10 min., then serve warm with raspberry jam or with the following luscious cream which resembles clotted cream often served with scones.

To make Lemon Cream: In a bowl, beat ½ cup whipping cream and 1 T. sugar at med.-high speed until soft peaks form. Fold in ½ cup sour cream and 1 t. grated lemon peel.

How about something guaranteed to warm the cockles of your heart (whatever they are)? This is a perfect appetizer for any party, but especially any party being held to celebrate Irish American Heritage Month. It will definitely make any March evening more pleasant and remember, if there vegetables, it must be healthy.

IRISH CHEDDAR STOUT FONDUE

2 cups halved small red potatoes (1-1½-inch diameter)

2 cups cauliflower florets (or use broccoli florets or a mix of both)

2 cups very small Brussels sprouts (cut sprouts in half if you can’t find little ones)

2 apples, cored and cut into wedges (sprinkle with lemon juice to avoid darkening)

1 lb. Irish cheddar cheese, grated

2½ T. flour

¾ cup (possibly more) Irish stout (such as Guinness)

6 T. frozen apple juice concentrate, thawed

1 T. Dijon mustard

Steam all vegetables until crisp tender. Arrange vegetables and apples around the edge of a large platter.

Toss cheese with flour in a large bowl. In a large saucepan over med. heat, bring the stout, juice concentrate and mustard to a simmer. Gradually add the cheese mixture, stirring constantly, until cheese is melted and smooth, thinning with more stout if necessary. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Transfer fondue back to the bowl or another serving bowl of choice and place in the center of the platter with the vegetables. Serve immediately; if it becomes necessary to keep the cheese mixture warm for any extended time, transfer to a fondue pot if you have one and set it next to the vegetable platter.

Note: You could also set out some chunks of crusty Irish bread to dip into the fondue.