June was, in my generation, the month of brides and grooms, weddings and receptions, white lace gowns and tuxedos, bridal showers, honeymoons, and new beginnings.

There were so many expectations in my era with regard to dress, church, flowers, cakes, reception food, guest lists, pre-wedding parties by both sets of parents, bridal showers, trousseau shopping, going-away outfits and procedures, and often by the time it all finally happened, we were not only tired of the whole process, we were just plain tired.

I thought such weddings would be considered passé now but, while waiting in a check-out line recently,

I browsed through a couple of bride’s magazines and, much to my surprise, things didn’t seem, at first glance, to have changed much. There they were, all the slender young girls in billowing white gowns flashing perfect, gleaming white smiles, on virtually every cover. The pages inside were filled with tips, hints and advice on how to have the perfect wedding.

June may still be the month of brides and wedding extravaganzas, but everything is not, I think, quite the same.

According to two or three articles I scanned, many brides-to-be today are opting to return to a more “traditional” wedding.

Well, I’m not sure just what their concept of traditional might be, but I hope it means no more smashing pieces of wedding cake into each other’s faces, no more crazy “stuff money in the bride’s bodice” dances, and no more rambling, zany wedding vows written by semi-literate participants. What,

I wondered, does “traditional” actually mean to today’s couples contemplating marriage?

In many cases, for example, today’s brides and grooms may already have been living together for some time, and perhaps even have a baby or two before they decide to tie the proverbial knot with a “traditional” wedding. This is not what I’d think of as traditional, and is certainly a huge departure from the era during which I first married. Not that “shotgun” weddings weren’t occurring then, but they were kept very quiet, very small, and the guest list was severely limited, no reception to follow.

It’s also possible today that we might receive a wedding invitation to a ceremony uniting two people of the same sex, officially legal in only a few states, but a “traditional” ritual much wanted and just as important to the participants. Personally, if two people I happen to know love and care deeply for each other and want to celebrate their love by uniting in marriage, I don’t care whether or not it’s “traditional,” or for that matter, legal.

So what we mean, it seems, by a “traditional” wedding in today’s terms has more to do with the feel of a wedding rather than the trappings of the event. It’s all about two people who have found and love each other making a promise to do their best to continue to love and care for each other. Nothing more is necessary and nothing less is acceptable. If God, Allah, Buddha, the Great Spirit or any other deity is also involved, that’s up to the individuals concerned, and in the long run, who cares what the bride wore or whether lobster was served at the reception.

My first wedding was the ultimate in “traditional.” My second was decidedly not. The second one is still going strong.

RECIPES

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could now present to all our readers a recipe for long and lasting marriage? Just follow the directions and you’ll have great results.

Well, sorry, no such thing exists. But, if you’re having a shower, a small family wedding or any other happy June event, here is a recipe that will contribute to the joy.

It’s a light, lemony cake that looks, tastes and smells like a beautiful June day; dress it up with fresh flowers for a bridal shower, but it’s a perfect summer take-along for any occasion.

LEMONADE CAKE

2 ½ cups sifted cake flour (Note: cake flour, not all-purpose flour)

1 ¾ cups sugar

1 T. baking powder

1 t. salt

½ cup vegetable oil

½ cup lemonade (purchased or homemade, but not concentrate)

5 large egg yolks

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

(I prefer Meyer lemon juice, if I can get Meyer lemons)

1 T. finely grated lemon peel

1 cup egg whites (probably 6-8 eggs)

½ t. cream of tartar

For the glaze: 1 cup, packed, powdered sugar

1 T. fresh lemon juice

½ t. lemon zest

1 t. lemonade; more if necessary (see instructions)

Spray a 10-inch tube pan with a removable bottom with nonstick spray.

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Make a well in the center; add oil, lemonade, egg yolks, lemon juice and grated peel to the well. Whisk until smooth.

Using an electric mixer, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar until the whites are stiff but not dry.

Fold ¼ of the whites into the batter, folding over just until incorporated; repeat dividing and adding with remaining whites, three more times. Pour batter into the prepared pan. Bake in a preheated 325-degree oven about

55 min., or until cake is golden and a tester inserted near the center comes out clean. Remove from oven and invert onto a narrow-neck bottle to cool.

Make the glaze: Whisk powdered sugar, lemon juice and peel in a small bowl until smooth. Add 1 t. lemonade and whisk until glaze has a pourable but thick consistency. Add more lemonade by the teaspoon, if necessary.

When cake is cool, cut around pan sides and remove sides. Using a thin, sharp knife, cut cake from bottom of pan and turn right side up on serving plate. Drizzle with glaze and let cake stand until the glaze sets (at least 1 hr.)

Note: This cake can be made a day ahead and kept at room temp. covered with a cake dome. The cake cuts well with a sharp serrated knife and serves 12.

Many years ago, when I was frequently involved in buffet style gatherings for large groups, I came across this recipe, from the then-editor of Bride’s Magazine, for melt-in-your mouth pecan treats. If you’re having any sort of a party for quite a few people, this is a winner and not difficult to do (although at the price of pecans, it is a bit costly.)

PECAN CLOUDS

1 lb. butter, at room temp. (if you use unsalted butter, add just a pinch of salt to the flour before you mix it in)

10 T. sugar (you can also substitute 8 T. fructose, if you prefer)

2 t. vanilla

4 cups sifted all-purpose flour

4 cups very finely ground pecans

80 or more pecan halves

1 cup sifter powdered sugar, or to your taste (see instructions)

With electric mixer, beat butter on high until creamy and almost white (if you have a whisk attachment for your electric mixer, use it). Beat in the sugar (or fructose) one tablespoon at a time. Blend in vanilla.

Resift the flour (adding just a small pinch of salt if you used unsalted butter); slowly blend into the butter mixture. Mix in the ground pecans one cup at a time and continue beating on high until very fluffy, at least 3-5 min. Refrigerate dough for an hour or so to make handling easier.

Form dough into balls the size of a small walnut and arrange in rows on a baking sheet. Press a pecan half into each ball. Bake in a preheated 325-degree oven about 15-20 min., or until golden brown. Allow to cool slightly, then sift powdered sugar over the top. Cool completely. Makes about 8 dozen.

Note: Cookies should be stored in an airtight container until ready to use; you may want to re-sprinkle with powdered sugar just before setting out on the table.

Regular readers know that above all other things, I love cheesecake, whether it be sweet or savory. This recipe for a non-dessert cheesecake is another I used frequently back in the days of buffet-style, large group entertaining. It is rich, and because of the cheese, a bit expensive to make, but oh so worth it when it’s on the table. (Using Butter Buds in the crust was a trick I used often in other crusts.)

CHEVRE CHEESECAKE

For the crust: 1 T. butter

8 oz. sesame breadsticks, crushed or ground

2 pkgs. (½ oz.) Butter Buds reconstituted with 1 cup water (or use 1 cup melted butter)

½ t. salt

For the filling: 2 lbs. fresh chevre cheese, at room temp. (remove any rind)

1 lb. cream cheese, at room temp.

3 eggs

1 T. chopped fresh rosemary (or ¼ t. dried rosemary leaves, crumbled), optional

Coat a 9-inch springform pan (if this is for a bridal party, use a deep heart-shaped mold) with 1 T. butter. Reconstitute the Butter Buds with the cup of water. Place breadstick crumbs in a bowl and pour the butter over, add salt and mix well. Reserve 2 T. of the mixture; press remainder into the bottom and around sides of pan. Chill while making the filling.

In the large bowl of an electric mixer, combine all filling ingredients and beat at med. speed for 20 min. (yes, 20 min.) Spoon into chilled crust and sprinkle with reserved crumbs. Set pan in a preheated 350-degree oven and immediately lower oven temp. to 325. Bake about 45 min., or until lightly browned and slightly puffed. Remove from oven and let cool on a rack. Release the springform and place cake on a serving platter, with rosemary sprigs as decoration. Cut into thin wedges to serve. Serves 20.