A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her: “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

So, his dutiful wife, always listening obediently, and with a bit of a secreted smile, gets up and unplugs the TV.

That’s probably the best e-mail joke of the week although I had to add a few adjectives to the punch line to avoid the risk of possible Internet prosecution.

Did you know that you can actually listen to new music on the Internet without paying for it? Paul Bob Reagan (no relation) from Three Rivers, Texas just tonight sent me an e-mail link that has enabled me to listen to the first 30 seconds or so of each of the songs on the latest album by Dishwalla.

No, Dishwalla is not a detergent, but a powerful, rhythmic musical group that would clear the senior center quicker than a scheduled fire drill. Of course, at one in the morning their music sure sounds good, particularly when you are writing a column.

This past weekend I drove 426 miles to watch the first half of the Seahawks game on my buddy Gene’s wall-sized television. The size of Gene’s screen enabled this 50-yard-line sofa viewer to appreciate the size and strength of the players much better than my 12-inch Sony monitor. Watching my Sony is baloney, if not braunschwager.

There is a real peace for me when I drive, even if it is raining in the middle of the night while I am windshield wiping behind a logging truck screaming down the dark side of Oregon State Highway 97 between La Pine and Bend. Do you ever sense the yoganess of driving? Do you too drive miles and miles meditating and contemplating your life without really feeling that you are driving?

For me, there has always been a trance to driving. No, not the type of trance one may feel looking for car keys that have been hidden by a friend, but the trance of the all-ness of the road. The sound of the highway along the bye-ways of one’s mind. Wasn’t “Bye-Ways of My Mind” the song in Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway’s glider scene in The Thomas Crown Affair?

How often do you drive just to drive? How often do you get in the car just to go? Here in Freeland, most of us drive just because it’s not considered cool to walk unless you are under 18 or over 55.

I do not know about you but some of my greatest ideas have come while driving. I was driving when I decided not to go see the Beatles in Cincinnati.

I was driving when I decided to go to law school to get out of the Marines three months early. I was driving when

I decided to move to Whidbey.

OK, so one of those three ideas was great. That’s still a better percentage than the batting average of a steroid-free Bret Boone.

Actually, I have really had greater ideas while parking, if you know what

I mean.

So, this holiday weekend, please take a moment to enjoy a nice drive, whether on Whidbey, where all roads lead to each other, or in Texas, where all roads lead to my sweet talkin’ cousins.

Here’s another invitation — drive on over, or park and walk, to the Whidbey Island Center for the Arts on Saturday, Nov. 12 to hear and see and dance with SisterMonk Harem featuring two very special guests: electric guitarist Tom Hoeflich of Da Sharks and sax legend Tracy Ferrara of Swamp Mama Johnson fame and some other great groups that I have filed in my Forgetery, just down the street from my Memory. ShowTime starts at 8 p.m. For directions or further info visit www.wicaonline.com or www.sistermonkharem.com.

Better yet, get your tickets right now at Joe’s Island Music in Langley. A fine and fun time is guaranteed by this Haremhead, formerly and affectionately a Haironhead.

While many of you are dancing the night away with Sister Monk Harem at WICA, I will be in Columbus, Ohio getting ready for the Sunday morning brunch featuring fried chicken and cabbage rolls at the Hungarian Reform Church. This annual special event on or near Veterans Day has kept Central Ohioans happy and gaseous for many marvelous years. I hope I can remember my high school Hungarian well enough to say “more cabbage rolls, please,” “thank you very much” and “where do you keep the Tums?”

If Delta Airlines doesn’t fold over the weekend, I’ll give you a full report next Saturday.

Or stop by the Dog House Wednesday night at 8 p.m. Nov. 16 for the IAC Poetry Slam and I’ll give you an early review. Thanks for sharing your time with me.

Until then, as they say in West Virginia — “We’ll thank you kindly ’til yer better paid.”

Jim Freeman can be reached at fun@whidbey.com.